| my heart sleeps as i watch the stars move |
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Saturday, June 29, 2002 i spend my entire day going back and forth to THE CITY DUMP!!! joy joy. isn't that great. it smells just lovely there. i was helping out at home getting rid of all our trash from the construction. i love my truck. hopefully (but not likely) we will get the house done soon!my dad might lose his job soon. it's a possibility. i don't know. it sucks, so much crap is going on for my parents. i'm getting a second job to help out a bit. but shhh! don't tell my parents. they'd say that i don't have to and i should focus on school (although it's summer right now) but i want to help out as much as i can. even if this job pays less and i'll probably have to work way more hours. i went bowling with my sister and her friends. only on one condition that they pick us up because i was so tired of driving. i didn't really have much to do tonight. i might've been able to meet up with a bunch of people at the hub in fullerton, but i'm actually really tired. so i went bowling for a little bit. remind me not to hang out with my sister and her friends. they like to cause trouble all the time. they are a bunch of hyper kiddies. i need to find people i can go bowling with. it's not like i even like bowling that much, but once in a while, it's fun to do something different. so who likes to bowl? come bowl with me! don't worry, i suck. anyways, possibly a friend's beach bonfire thing tomorrow night. not sure if i'll go. maybe if i feel like it. i know i'll be going to the beach sunday with my cousins. yippee. how cool, i haven't seen them in a while. well actually maybe like 3 or 4 weeks? well that's a long time. it's cool we usually see each other at least once a month. and i think that is very cool that we are all so close compared to other people and their families. except maybe cliff who sees his cousins like every week and hangs out with them here and there. i'm tired. i would write more. but i'm soooooooo sleepey. oh just a side note, yes i am very politically ignorant. that's why i'm taking poli sci and hopefully i will pay attention and learn a thing or two. (unlike ap government in high school. haha, that class was a joke. well maybe i took that class as a joke. i fricken didn't care anymore. i knew i was going to fullerton and fullerton doesn't care too much on grades) sorry for dissing fullerton, but i'm really starting to like it now. getting the hang of it. meeting very cool and very nice and sweet people. ok that's it. good night Thursday, June 27, 2002 gosh, i can't even remember what i did yesterday morning. oh, that's right. i had work, then rushed home and gobbled down some food in like 5 minutes and headed off to class. which reminds me that i have to start on my reading. then after that, i went home, rested a bit then went to my guitar class. then left that class early so i could go to the show.last night was fun. i went to the melee show. they rock. such nice guys. i helped out at the merch table. who knew it could get so hectic. within a time period of 10 mintues, we had a mess of people come buy a whole bunch of stuff. allison and jenn rock! they are two very cool cats. thanks allison for the pins and the shirt. hehehe. after the show we hung out in the parking lot while we waited for the boys to pack up. the leaf blower guy was so annoying. we were like the leaves ourselves. getting blown together, in one direction, then another, not really going anywhere at all. yeh, then we went to denny's and some of us didn't really want anything and we were bored, so a couple of us left early. but all in all, it was fun. oh yeh, i tried taking pictures for them because i had some exposures left on my black and white film. so i took some. i hope they come out alright. allison and i both know ilford film is the best. i remember when i was in photography class, i always had used ilford film. one time i ran out and i had bought kodak's tmax 400 film. it doesn't look as nice. the ilford film has a nice range of gray tones. ok, ok, enough talk about b&w film. Tuesday, June 25, 2002 my oh-so-busy schedule since i've gotten home...i'm kind of tired (a bit of jetlag)monday: woke up way too early because of time differences. what did i do? it was just yesterday. did some errands early in the morning, took my sister and her friend to the beach for a little bit, then decided to leave and went to her house and hung out there till i had to go to class. got my books, got my parking permit. got out of class early so went to the pool and swam and layed out for a bit. made some phone calls to schedule work. had guitar class last night, came home around 10 and totally zonked out and fell asleep till morning. tuesday (today i think. my days have been blurred): work early in the morning. went to the bank to deposit money for my dad, went to meet up with a friend for lunch. headed home. took about a half hour nap. got woken up by a phone call. went online to check my mail and here i am right now...i'm just about to get off because my mom is home. wednesday: work in the morning. then class for the rest of the day. i hope i don't fall asleep. thursday: i kind of consider this my free day, but i have stuff to do. i have to be the driver to bring a whole bunch of trash stuff from our house to the dumbster. maybe take my sister's friend to bolsa to show her where she can get a phone cover for cheap. i always feel so out of place in bolsa. friday: not sure yet. see if my cousins will be home today. saturday: don't know yet sunday: beach with my cousins! i love them. they are great. i love my family. it's weird how i used to be able to easily think of close friends as family too. and you know family is extremely important to me. things i did in NY, a brief review: went up to niagara falls. went by gound zero saw statue of liberty took the subway...cool. felt very independent went up to empire state building. saw rent...awesome awesome. walked through central park. beautiful ate a whole lot...very nice (and expensive) restaurants there...probably gained some weight. need to go back to the gym. i've been gone for a week in a half, so i haven't really known what has been going on at home. i called my mom at work today to talk and she told me about what was happening to my dad at his work. so much crap. i'm really worried about my dad. he doesn't look too good. because i see him everyday, i don't notice the change. but every relative, every friend, every single person who sees my dad has questioned or mentioned how thin he's gotten, how sick he looks, how bad he looks. his work is suspending him without pay for 3 weeks. that is a lot of time and money. and everyone at work thinks it's wrong. my dad has worked there for 15 years. the first 10, under a different boss, none of this happened, he did very well with his job. now, the last 5 years working for a new boss, at the same place, so many problems have arisen. the thing is, we had all just been stressed and worried about his job, but now i'm so worried about his health. he's just so down and stressed out. i don't know what to do. when i was talking to my mom on the phone, i started to cry a bit. jeez, and i'm not one to cry or show much emotion. the guy who has been working on our house is a friend of my dad so i guess my dad told him about what was going on. so when i was talking to my dad's friend, he was saying how he too has noticed how my dad is so stressed and he was saying hopefully with some time away from work, he can relax a bit. he said that he notices how my dad is the type of person to hold it all in and stress about things and not let things out. and when he said that, i kind of realized that i am like my dad. i'm like that. if things bother me, i hold it in and i try and deal with it myself, not to get people envolved so they too would have to worry about stuff. crap, you know, this new blog was suppose to be a place where i just review what goes on in my day so that i can remember it. i didn't want to write such personal things like i had in my last. but i don't know, i need to vent. i need to get these things out somehow. while i'm at writing some personal thoughts, i need to get this out. i get so frustrated that i dont' hold grudges at people sometimes. it's a good thing that i don't, but sometimes i wish i did, because that would make me feel so much better. i tend to put too much pressure on myself to do certain things,but easily accept it of others. and i can sympathize with them. but for myself, i just have certain standards and it really stresses me out. and yeh, i know i tend to blame myself for a lot of things, or i take it upon myself to do certain things. i wish i could just get angry at people and no feel bad about things. ok that's it, no more of this. Monday, June 24, 2002 i'm back. when the plane was flying over anaheim, i spotted the fireworks from disneyland. it was around 9:45. right? that's when the fireworks happen, right? well anyways, i was amazed even from way up in the plane. disneyland fireworks will always amaze me. go figure.i watched i am sam last night. wow, it was a good movie. very touching. i loved all the beatles songs. i'm surprised i recognized most of them. blackbird is a beautiful song. probably my favorite at the moment. coincidently i had posted up part of the lyrics to that song in my last blog |
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about me! links Vanessa archives 06/09/2002 - 06/16/2002 taggie here credits original layout w4rnawarni : listen to the music designed by w4rnawarni @ blogskins |