| my heart sleeps as i watch the stars move |
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Tuesday, August 26, 2003 okay, so let's forget all about that last post.my day today went well. i had a lot of free time since my lab classes were canceled. i met up with jenn and she told me how her schedule is all messed up. she had to drop some classes b/c there were prerequisites. so she has only 2 classes this entire semester. she might as well not go to school this semester. i drove her around to get ice cream in hopes of cheering her up a bit. i ate ice cream with her and realized that she doesn't talk much. but she's usually like that. hmm. it was so hot today. thank goodness for my AC. i got out of class early at 6:30 or so. i drove home with the worst stomach ache. that was the longest drive ever. i started getting chills and i freaked out. i decided to exit the freeway, but everytime i changed lanes, my stomach stopped hurting and i dared to continue further. i got home and i've been laying in bed. it must have been that 'baked' eggroll. today in my bio lab, we took these personality tests so that we can be put into groups. the four types of people are organizers, thinkers, adventures, and givers. i am an organizer AND and adventurer. how is that possible. they are most opposite. but i guess it is true of me. i like to take risks and open-minded, but at the same time, i'm cautious, structured and organized. hmm. that explains some things. first day of school. just another day of school. not much has changed. just that i know where to go and where all the 'secret' computer labs are and how to get free planners and how to find out which professors are teaching which classes and etc., you know. during my 2 hour break, i visited the local 24 hour fitness. my new hang out. lame, i know. i showered there b/c i was too lazy to shower this morning. i received 10 txt messages today. i sent out like another 10. jeez, my phone bill. it's okay, it's only 10 cents each. ppl from last semester txted me, but i just didn't feel like meeting up with them. maybe later this week or next week. tomorrow i will have class all day. i have a 2 hour break again from 9-11, b/c my TAA class hasn't started yet. and then one of my lab classes will be canceled tomorrow b/c people are still getting their schedules together. so i'm gonna have a break from 1-5. maybe my lab from 5-8 will be canceled too! i'm contemplating if i should go home. but that's kind of far and i dont' have anything to do at home. but i don't want to go home by myself. it's okay, i guess i can just wander around fullerton like i usually do. i tend to go around campus and fullerton by myself anyways. just observing my surroundings. solitude i guess. i need that sometimes. but then i think too much about things and that just makes me sad. stupid solitude moments. devon: are you bored just cooking the burgers? me: no, i kind of like it. a bit of solitude, you know? and i'm just kind of tired. devon: so you're kind of quiet. anti-social? me: no! i would like to think not. (i'm not, am i?) just kind of tired lately so i'm just hanging out here. but sometimes i can be just as loud and in there w/ everyone else. but it's not all about me so i'm just gonna flip some burgers. quan: you seem like the quiet one. you guys seem kind of like opposites, but opposites attract, right? me: yeh, i'd like to think we balance each other out. quan: are you the neutralizer? me: haha, um, i guess. but sometimes she sets me straight...something like that. (silence as i flip the burgers) i like to flip burgers and make people food; she likes to eat it. like vanessa says, i'm the domesticated one. me and everyone: here quan, have the first burger! your going away burger! quan: hey! it's still raw inside! well...i hope this will help. i'm not really in the mood to talk these days. nothing much going on, i'm just not in the mood to be my goofy talkative person who talks about non sense and random things and makes noises. quan asked me about my major. i told him that i'm gonna have to start being serious about school and studying. i told him that i have to do well and i have to succeed in this. i'm going head on into something that i dont' know if i have enough motivation to do. i guess i'm putting all my eggs in one basket. and b/c i can't succeed in everything like certain people, i'm just really scared that if i can't do this, i just won't know what to do. i would have failed. i'd like to think other people feel this way too. right? so many ppl have dropped out of their majors, like bio and gone and done something else. is that what they really wanted to do? or was it that they could not take it being a bio major.(but of course every major has its challenges) and it seems that everyone stops b/c of o chem. wow, doesn't hearing that just make me even more worried?? my cousin vannie, her friend i met at her graduation, numerous ppl i've met, all have quit bio b/c of O chem. man. i'm scared. i think that's what has gotten me worried. hmmm. since i am blogging everything i'm thinking, i might as well tell you that i feel like i'm gonna be left behind while everyone around me heads off and does their own thing. i will be here. well, i hope you enjoyed my blogging. i will try to update more often, especially when i am not in the mood to talk much. i'm sorry if my wariness has caused my silence. i dont' like to share my thoughts, but "there it is." p.s. i think that baked eggroll is upsetting my stomache. i feel really sick. maybesleep will sleep away the stomach ache. Monday, August 25, 2003 sunset junction today. what a long day, but many bands for our viewing pleasure. read vanessa's blog in a day or so to get a summary of the day.off to bed. school bright and early tomorrow. 8 o clock people. too early for me. |
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about me! links Vanessa archives 06/09/2002 - 06/16/2002 taggie here credits original layout w4rnawarni : listen to the music designed by w4rnawarni @ blogskins |