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Tuesday, February 24, 2004
so we were just talking. and i asked him how his saturday night was. you know, with his ex. anyways, i'm cool with it, just wanted to know more about him though. so somehow we were talking and he said, that our relationship isn't as intense as his was with his ex. yeh, i know, i'm not an intense girl. but i dont' want to hear that. i feel like he's comparing me to his 5 year relationship with her. i'm too casual, and easy going. hmmm....
then he said something like, 'things don't flow like they should, but if i go through all this trouble, then you know....' what? that he's going through all this trouble for me? i'm trouble? but you put up with me? so it that suppose to make me feel better? i don't want to be trouble. i'd rather not.
he also said that he can talk to me more like a friend, than a girlfriend, which is what he didn't expect. being able to be so open. is that suppose to be a good thing? he said, yes, but it's weird. he said it's good to have a gf who he can be open with like a friend. um...i don't know how to take that really.
yeh, how am i suppose to feel after hearing all this? i don't know. maybe i'm taking things the wrong way. i'm trying and this is the best i can for right now and if it's not up to his standards, i don't know what i can do. it's like when you try but they just don't see it. i just got shot down.
i stopped the conversation. i didn't want to talk anymore. i was going to head home soon. i should talk to him.
i guess it's me. the more i let someone in, the more things that are said hurt and bother me. maybe i was too nonchalant and easy going before that he didn't think i cared or that anything bothered me. but i guess now they do.
gross, i think i blogged too much.
theresa writes @ 1:45 AM |
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